There’s a lot of stuff I share on the Internet every day. Here’s a round up of the things I most enjoyed last week by category.

Inspiration

• Science says lasting relationships come down to—you guessed it—kindness and generosity. This article from The Atlantic talks about the work of  John Gottman, a research psychologist who has spent 4 decades studying couples. He found they fall into two categories: Masters and Disasters. The masters exhibit kindness and generosity like BOSSES. “Kindness (…) glues couples together. Research independent from theirs has shown that kindness (along with emotional stability) is the most important predictor of satisfaction and stability in a marriage. Kindness makes each partner feel cared for, understood, and validated—feel loved. (…) there’s a great deal of evidence showing the more someone receives or witnesses kindness, the more they will be kind themselves, which leads to upward spirals of love and generosity in a relationship. There are two ways to think about kindness. You can think about it as a fixed trait: either you have it or you don’t. Or you could think of kindness as a muscle. In some people, that muscle is naturally stronger than in others, but it can grow stronger in everyone with exercise. Masters tend to think about kindness as a muscle. They know that they have to exercise it to keep it in shape.” 
  
• Jim Carey gets it. Then he gives it away. “All that will ever be is happening right here and the decisions that we make in this moment which are either based in love or fear. So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality.”
• Why we humble brag about being busy. “This bubble is being enabled by an unholy alliance between three powerful trends: smart phones, social media, and extreme consumerism. The result is not just information overload, but opinion overload. We are more aware than at any time in history of what everyone else is doing and, therefore, what we “should” be doing. In the process, we have been sold a bill of goods: that success means being supermen and superwomen who can get it all done. Of course, we back-door-brag about being busy: it’s code for being successful and important.” This is worth your time to read. I sure hope we all wake up to Exhaustion as a Status Symbol, which is what Brene Brown calls this. The Avett Brothers calls it “ill with want.” I call it normal far too often.
• Why narcissism is a profoundly misunderstood psychological disorder. I survived a romantic relationship with narcissist several years ago, not that I didn’t bring plenty of baggage to the situation. Identifying his narcissistic personality disorder helped me get things in perspective. Since then I’ve read more about NPD and other psychological pathologies. It is all fascinating. This particular article dives into the connection between narcissism and fear, points out hormonal responses and makes a connection between NPD and psychopathy.

Nifty

• All by Myself, a video by Richard Dunn From the time he unzipped to reveal the souvenir t-shirt until the last frame I became smitten. I can’t imagine the effort this took but think it’s the best thing since sliced bread. Well done, Dunn.
• Porcupine squeaking whilst enjoying a tiny pumpkin. You are welcome.
• Jim Mills’s North Carolina basement is a monument to bluegrass history. And the photos are fucking stunning. ::swoon::

Music

• I Wish You Didn’t Feel Like my Home by Matt the Electrician. I booked Matt for Sheri’s Living Room in June. This was the first song I remember stumbling upon a year ago when Spotify recommended him to me. I just can’t wait until he plays. So, so neat. 
• Pickwick – Can’t Talk Medicine. Spotify suggested this album a few days ago and I can’t hear it enough. Track in particular: Hacienda Motel and Window Sill.