A year ago today

A year ago something I thought was really terrible happened and I thought I would die.

I sort of did die.

There was this bizarre two week purgatory where I was nowhere. When I discovered I had lived, I started living. Then I lived some more.

I looked for a quote this afternoon that might be appropriate for Vaguebooking. For acknowledging this important date. I found one I loved, but it seemed to be too easy misconstrue and what point is Vaguebooking if you have to add a disclaimer?

“When love awakens in your life, in the night of your heart, it is like the dawn breaking within you. Where before there was anonymity, now there is intimacy; where before there was fear, now there is courage; where before in your life there was awkwardness, now there is a rhythm of grace and gracefulness; where before you used to be jagged, now you are elegant and in rhythm with your self. When love awakens in your life, it is like a rebirth, a new beginning.” 
― John O’Donohue

This seemed to perfectly describe what happened to my heart this past year. It has zero to do with anyone I’ve dated or am dating (which is why the quote wasn’t suitable) and everything to do with my true self. It’s been a magnificent year of hurt and healing. In the rearview mirror, I’m a little proud of how deeply I was devastated, because I am proud of how deeply in love I was. I don’t know that I’d had that before. Even more spectacular was how hard I dug in to recovery from that shatteredness. Is that a word? It is now.

I learned to not only be alone, but enjoy alone. Thrive alone. Travel solo and dine solo and sleep across the whole damn bed littered with too many pillows like a total chick. Solo. Decadently dream all my own dreams with polite considerations for no one. 

Several people held me close for those first few months. I wasn’t ok. I wasn’t ok by a whole long shot but their love kept me safe until I could take over and once I took over, that was some shit. That was the best shit. 


Since then I’ve held people close for their first few months. I have become nearly addicted to throwing out that lifeline to the broken heart dying in the dark. We are all in this life together. 

I don’t know much where I’m going with this. I just knew that the date had to be acknowledged. I’m happier than I’ve ever been, more secure as Sheri than I’ve ever been, I’m ridiculously smitten with myself and the life I’m living and so totally grateful that I died last year. What was born from that wreckage was my best version.

30 Days of Thankfulness

I thought it might be nice to round all these up from my Facebook meme. As I copy and pasted these in here I only found one missing day and one day where I accidentally posted twice. Not bad! Near the beginning of the month I asked Facebook if I should do one of these lists and thought I probably wouldn’t because they can get pretty trite. But then a friend asked me if I could really do it… with no duplicates. There was much scoffing in my head at the notion of someone having trouble coughing up 30 pieces of gratitude. Pssshaw. I could do one everyday for a year and not repeat, I said. Thus my November meme was officially born.

1. Hashtags.
2. Strangers who reach out to me on my blog who then become dear friends.
3. French rosé.
4. Free sunglasses.
5. The soundtrack to Inside Llewyn Davis. Especially track 2. Holy cow.
6. I’m thankful that thoughts become things and that I finally figured that out.
7.  I am thankful for Laura Marling.
8. We have a kick ass art scene. Soon it won’t be the best kept secret & I’ll be bragging about owning a ____ for $150.
9. I am thankful that Lyons, CO and Planet Bluegrass are in recovery.
10. …that I discovered the music genre of progressive bluegrass.
11. I am thankful for discovering This is Spinal Tap, which only gets funnier as I get older.
12. That Oklahoma finally legalized tattoos several years ago.
13. That I got Fullbright tickets today for the two nights I wanted them.
14. That I found the work of Brené Brown, Eckhart Tolle, Martha Beck and Byron Katie. The timing could not have been more perfect.
15. That I found my cowboy boots in Lyons, CO, late this summer. Again, the timing could not have been more perfect.
16. The scrapbooks of my Grandma Avis, who died before I was born. I browsed them today and met the girl who would eventually be my mother’s mother. An aunt remarked that those books were laden with things she never even knew. Pretty magical.
17. These house shows.
18. Oysters on the half shell, drizzled with mignonette, touched with horseradish, slurped and finished with a sip of bubbly wine.
19. The love I get from my friends, old and new. Y’all are rad.
20. This here business.
21.That family doesn’t need to be genetically related.
22. Numbers and signs from the Universe.
23. The nerds in my life who help me understand things. Or just plain help me. A lot of nerds crossed my path on Saturday (glorious!) and the day ended with me learning about Phi, which is still blowing my mind.
24. Weekends that slow or stop me.
25. Butter. I currently own 20lbs of it and by the weekend those golden sticks of heaven are going to be toffee. Mountains of delicious, perfect toffee.
26. This place I work. It’s pretty freakin’ awesome. Y’all think you know how great it is…but I promise you this place is 10 times better than anyone in the public realizes. It’s a family.
27. 2013 started out terribly, then life got as black as night for a brief little stint. But you know what? It got better. Then it got good. Then it got amazeballs. I’m so grateful for all the lessons I learned. I’m glad I got all the way broken because the rebuilding has been nothing short of miraculous. So thankful for this year. 28.
28.The classic Thanksgiving meal.
29. The little boy who looks like my dad’s baby pictures, loves Legos, breathes Minecraft, prefers his apples sliced and lives to charm every person he meets.
30. The young lady who believes in herself, inspired me to believe in myself, wants desperately to meet Katy Perry or Pink, begs to drink coffee, adores her friends and loves Funyuns. A lot. Just like her mama did when she was 12.

Sitting in perfect weather and The Flow

I’ve spent the better part of this year learning how to let go of life’s expectations. It seems like a simple thing to do…you know, don’t expect things to be handed to you. Don’t expect my kids to finish their homework on time. Don’t expect to be acknowledged for my _____. (*work, deeds, beauty, whatever). And it’s pretty cool to see what surprises I stumble upon as I live this way. I’ve internally and with a few of my friends have termed this notion, “The Flow.” 

The Flow includes other personal pro-tips like letting go of control. Whether that be relationships or vacations or my day-to-day tasks, part of the joy of The Flow is how things fall into place just as well with little to no effort as they did with moderate to great effort. For instance, as we left for the airport I had not yet booked a stay for San Diego on Wednesday night. I was too busy and distracted and my intuition never really kicked on to say, “Get this done right this minute.” By the time we arrived at the airport my best friend (with whom I am traveling) and her husband remembered that they had Marriott points. By the time we reached our layover in Denver we had a place to sleep that was way nicer than the hovel I would have booked and it was free. That’s not even the best part! The best was that I hadn’t spent hours and hours and hours wasted trying to find the perfect place. I do that. It’s ridiculous. 

The reason we flew into San Diego (2.5 hours away) instead of Palm Springs was because I have a Life List item that I chose to start last year. Put my feet in the ocean every year for 5 years. Last year was San Francisco and I figured Palm Springs was close enough to the ocean that this trip would the perfect opportunity. That right there is where the planning stopped. 

Yesterday morning we woke up and I searched Yelp for a place to eat. We discovered that our favorite breakfast spot in the country, the WHOLE REASON we planned a 6-hour layover in Denver on Monday, had a location in San Diego that was 12 minutes away from the hotel. The Flow. At breakfast I was zooming in on a map of La Jolla beaches and found the La Jolla branch of the Museum of Contemporary Art San Diego that was walking distance to the beach. We ended up spending equal or more time at the art museum than we did at the amazing, post-card-like beach that we’ll revisit on Sunday. This wasn’t planned. It was The Flow. And it was perfect. 

Two bennies. One heavenly breakfast.

Feet in the ocean, year 2. Check! #gomighty #mightylifelist

I saw an exhibition called Lost in the Memory Palace that shifted my perceptions of what art is. It was immersive and mesmerizing. Fascinating sounds, textures, images, light and whatever else that thing is that I can’t put my finger on. The art-ness, I suppose. I wanted to spent the whole day there. 

I’m in two art shows in the next two weeks. Have I mentioned that? If you have seen me in person I’m sure I have. It’s exciting and a direct result of living in The Flow. Something looks cool, my intuition says yes and I jump right in. It’s exciting and different. Working on the pieces is a meditation for me. I’ve been chasing meditation for YEARS with little success because, apparently, I was chasing it. Wanting to control it. I must sit down and light this candle and wipe my mind and meditate for 15 minutes every morning. LIKE THE BOOK SAYS I SHOULD. 


I pick up a paintbrush and move my hands. My mind melts empty as I focus on the ever-so-immediate now-ness. My tweezers pinch rhinestone #300 and place it in the glue. I’m only concerned with filling in the rhinestones and singing along to the music on the radio. The Flow is a gorgeous experience. 


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