I love the Internets

There’s a lot of stuff I share on the Internet every day. Here’s a round up of the things I most enjoyed last week by category.

Steve Perry

  • Yeah, this is its own category. Steve Perry returns to the stage. My mania for Journey and Steve Perry are the longest relationships I’ve maintained — approaching 25 years soon. If I had been at this show I would have DIED. Dead. 


  • To love at all comic by Zen Pencils. Gavin Aung takes great quotes and turns them into profound comics. This one is a long-time favorite from C.S. Lewis. 
  • 10 old fashioned dating habits we should make cool again. “9. The general concept of asking permission for things.” Seriously. Not too long ago during a romantic moment a gentleman caller asked if he could kiss me. That right there ensured he’d get a second date. 
  • Danielle LaPorte blew my mind. This blog post inspired me to finish my own post on dating. But it’s applicable far beyond the dating relationships. Mindfully protecting our precious hearts while still keeping them open and authentic is an art to master as we navigate all relationships, romantic or not. 



  • Hozier and the Tiny Desk. I’m no longer in the business of makin’ babies. But if I were, this would be the perfect soundtrack. 
  • The Gospel Whiskey Runners – Hold On.  Spotify recommended this album to me this week and I can’t get enough of it. 
  • Red Right Ankle by The Decemberists. I was up late texting this week with a friend, processing a little bit of wistful grief that had surfaced. As I explained a sort of ‘missing limb’ kind of feeling, he sent me this song. I love my people.


My dear friend Jack, who a several months ago met a wonderful woman who is the absolute sparkle in his eyes sat across from me at lunch recently with a thoughtful speech prepared. After he and his girlfriend heard me rant across a glass or three of whiskey one weekend after a bad dating experience, he bestowed upon me his words. I wish I could have recorded it. He was very right in a lot of ways. More on that in a second.

I am a mega fan of Brene Brown’s work and was wishing last week she had some sort of help with staying Wholehearted through the dating life. I know I can apply those principles on my own but to have specific anecdotes would be tremendous. As a person who spent the last year or two on a quest for wholeheartedness, presence and the reclaiming of my Self, this territory of dating is difficult. 

Jack knows I believe most people are good and sees me give people the benefit of the doubt when at all possible, over and over and over. He worries it leaves me too vulnerable. Personally, I believe that if I’m going to have a successful go at this phase of my life that I have to approach it as true to my Self as possible, which must leave me vulnerable. It isn’t easy to strike the balance of vulnerability and boundaries. I never want to shroud myself in armor, but I also don’t want some guy to get his sharp knife into my tender, pink heart. It is tricky. 

The last 6 months of dating have gifted me a hell of a lot of experiences. So many first dates. So many friend zones (both where it happened to me and where I did the reclassification). So many first kisses and bad kisses and holymotherofpearlmyfacejustmelted kisses. A few skin on skin thoughtful or funny or provocative conversations while daylight streamed through the mini blinds. Several late night bad decisions that were so. much. fun. y’all. And a few moments of such extreme and throat-closing awkwardness I thought I would absolutely die. But I didn’t. And neither did he. Or him. Or that other guy. 

I’ve tried lots of dating approaches and really thought I had stumbled upon genius a few months ago. Multi-dating! This is the term I use to describe where I am technically dating two or more men at once (with full disclosure). You see, Guy A and I only see each other every other week or so but then Guy B and I might have happy hour or catch dinner once a week. But when either or both of them are occupied there’s a Guy C who I just met but, “Sure! Let’s get coffee,” because you just never know. One must kiss a lot of frogs, I’m told.

The downside is that the approach is really, really consuming of both time and mental resources. While all the joys of dating are amplified, so are all the frustrations. My most recent Guy C was a man I met on Tinder who was only in the US for a short while. He asked about my American dating life and as I proudly explained the logistics he responded, “So… you don’t want to get close to anyone?”


So much for Wholehearted

This guy who barely knew me was dead right. I am tuckered out from trying to date without letting anyone close to me. Or dating guys who I know won’t get close to me. (I need a nickname for emotionally unavailable. Any thoughts on that, kind reader?) I can’t say that all the guys have fallen into the “don’t get close” category, but more have than haven’t. 

Everything prior to this paragraph was essentially written a couple of weeks ago. Tonight as I settled in to play catch up on some computer things, I checked my email. A fresh post was waiting for me from Danielle LaPorte, a new-to-me life coach who is the perfect blend of sassy and softie. The title of the post read, “Open, gentle heart. Big fucking fence.” The advice I give on Love that took the longest time to learn. I began to read…

“being loving” meant: letting everyone in the door … ignoring the mismatch between people’s words and their actions … and generally taking more shit than anyone should. While I professed to suffer no fools, I was, you know, suffering some serious fools.

Well, now. That got my attention. Then she said,

Closing my heart would be certain soul death. Not an option. Shutting my heart half-way would be like shallow breathing for eternity, and I’m here to breathe life in fully wholly holy. So semi-openness was not an option either.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Then she told a story she tells her son, 

“Keep your heart open, as wide open as you possibly can. Keep it so soft. Let it be tender. FEEL EVERYTHING. Feel your feelings, share your feelings. Keep your heart gentle, gentle, open, open.

And then… put a big fucking fence around it. Make it tall and make it strong. Ask your angels to guard the gate for you at all times. Do not let anybody past your gate unless their own heart is open and gentle. Only let in people who are respectful, kind, interested and loving. Emphasis on respectful, kind, interested and loving.”

Do not let anyone past your gate unless their own heart is open and gentle. 

Only let in people who are respectful, kind, interested and loving.

I have not done this. I’ve let everyone in all willy nilly and then get pissed when they aren’t interested or respectful or loving or kind. Or any combination thereof. 

Dear Universe, please grant me patience and compassion. 

I’m putting my fence up now. 

I love the Internets

There’s a lot of stuff I share on the Internet every day. Here’s a round up of the things I most enjoyed last week by category.


  • Things a Little Bird Told Me by Biz Stone. “Once true passion hits you, you can recognize all the times in your life when you were chasing the wrong dream. And after you’ve experienced that sustained fulfillment, you’ll never want to settle for anything less.” I loaned my copy to a friend last week with the understanding that he read it quickly and return it right away because I need to read this again at least once. This book is a thing. And I am now mad, mad crushin’ on Biz Stone. 
  • The crossroads of Should and Must. “When we choose Must, what we create is ourselves. It is a body of work. When we make something because we Must, not just because we can, it is the difference between disposable products that last a few years and life-affirming movements that sustain generations.” That punched me right square in the feelers. 
  • My friend Ron Ferrell is famous. As he should be. Ron is a regular at Sheri’s Living Room and an all-around fantastic human. Check out his piece on Mother Earth News and be sure to follow the link to his bio. There are a few videos in his bio worth watching. 
  • Our whole lives are relationships. Love accordingly. “You’re going to wish you had taken more holiday time to hang with them. You’re going to wish you’d stayed up later and extended your stay to ask them more questions about anything at all. You’ll wish you’d gone out dancing.”
  • Mindfulness physically changes your brain. “And after a month of practicing the meditation — which comes out to about 11 hours of meditation — the researchers found that there were even more increases in brain signaling connections, as well as an increase in protective tissue (called myelin) around the axons in a part of the brain called the anterior cingulate region. The study participants also had better moods after practicing the meditation.”


  • 9 private islands that cost less than an apartment in San Francisco. “South Saddle Caye off the coast of Belize has abundant coral growth along the eastern and southern shore lines and sparkling blue water, and no old naked men on street corners.”
  • I spoke to a class of college kids. Again. The rundown is in the link. My most memorable moment was when I was asked for a final thought. What’s your last piece of advice, Sheri? I replied, “Fear is an illusion” and I swear they all inhaled at the same time. Then laughed or murmured to each other. WIN.
  •  Holy lord, Tyler Florence is dreamy. I took this photo of him with a coworker. I deserve a goddamn medal for not totally fangirling him right to his face. Look for Tucker’s Onion Burgers in the new season of Great Food Truck Race on the Food Network. Fun week at work, y’all. 


  • Tempest by SOHN A friend pointed me to this artist and I’m digging it a bunch. This type of music is not in my normal wheelhouse and I’m happy to be around people who can point me to fresh (to me) sounds. 
  • Ice Cream by Sarah McLachlan Thursday night I sat on my porch with Jack and Sara and got drunk. So did Jack. Sara didn’t, but sobriety didn’t stop her from being one of the three voices singing Ice Cream into the darkness. 
  • Happy by John Fullbright This is also another song off the new album, which releases next week. Which is pre-orderable on Amazon right now for $8. I was actually present for this performance. Cool. 
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