Me and the music

One evening 7 months ago I sat across the table from David and KC, poked at an Irma’s burger and tried to keep it together. We would talk about things unrelated to the heartbreak I was swimming in but with any pause in conversation I would slip right back under the surface into the depths of hopelessness. Like it was yesterday, I remember my head and shoulders folding forward and I asked them through the shudders of tears, “What am I going to do about the music?” 

Confession time: I’m not well-educated about music. It’s embarrassing. The previous 2 1/2 years with a fellow music addict was an incredible gift and I was exposed to so much music. I was and am still quite grateful for that gift. But in the glow of the Irma’s neon I asked my question because I knew the musicians would understand the question reached far beyond a hard drive of songs. It was about the sharing. The discovering. The magic that pulses between the notes. What am I going to do about the music?

It turns out I didn’t have to do anything. 

The music found me just fine without any intermediary, which is an even better way to get it. I’ve befriended bands, shaken the hands of artist and poets and learned a few things on my instruments. I’ve traveled a few highways and found my own damn treasures. The Universe keeps sending me signs and people and experiences and it’s enthralling. 

But I also do the work.

I very sheepishly confessed a fun fact last Sunday morning. I was giving a first-time listen to Abbey Road and the White Album. Yes, like….first time ever listen beginning to end. What I further explained is that I am giving the entire Beatles catalog my undivided attention right now, because I never have.

That’s a shame.

And we are anti-shame nowadays.

So far I’ve listened through Rubber Soul, Revolver, White Album and Abbey Road. I don’t have a favorite yet. I’ve probably only gotten through each of them 6 or so times, which isn’t enough. Because…GAH. The Beatles are really good. I won’t bore you with a break down of what I love most because I know squat about the technicalities of music. It’s been a neat little gift of discovering a legendary band at the ripe old age of 37 and being able to appreciate it 10x more than I would have when I was 13 or whatever. 

Perhaps more fun than falling for Eleanor Rigby or Got to Get You into My Life (ok….maybe I am pretty fond of Revolver) was seeing my Facebook wall blow up TWICE with Beatlemania. 

The post with 57 comments thus far where grown men and women basically lose their shit and openly adore the Beatles. And think that I am lying about my ignorance. Nope guys, I’m from rural Oklahoma — ignorance is in my blood. 

The next day I mentioned a little Beatles feelings on a new post and twenty more comments happened.

Later that afternoon I got a text that said, “Check your car and have your mind blown.”

"Check your car and be prepared to have your mind blown." What happens when one of your friends gets irritated at people fawning over the Beatles.

He was a little irritated with all the Beatles fawning. Bowie Bonus. 

Then, for reasons unknown to me, I needed to listen to Phenomenal Handclap Band’s Above All Else (featuring Bart Davenport) on repeat this morning.

If I listened to it once I listened to it 20 times. So much so that I searched for lyrics and when none were found, I transcribed them. Welcome to my rabbit hole. This is why my laundry is never caught up and the novel in my head has never been written. Feel free to double check me. I’m not quite sure about the last line in the second verse. 

You’ve been through a lot these days 
I can tell by the look in your eyes
With the company that you keep
It’s really no surprise
And you’re sayin’ there’s an easier way
Than wearing yourself so thin
So if you’re ready to listen now the lesson will begin

A – Always say what you mean
B – Be something you can be proud of
C – Try to keep yourself clean
D – Don’t get no one else involved

All this time spent talkin’ about it
Would be better spent gettin’ it done
How long before you realize that you’re the one
Who can do almost anything
But learn some disciplne
So stop awhile sit in this style the lesson will begin

A – Always say what you mean
B – Be something you can be proud of
C – Try to keep yourself clean
D – Don’t get no one else involved

Me and the music are doing just fine. Rabbit holes and all.

Songs for Healing Hearts

I might inch out onto a limb here for a second and say something.

I am no longer heartbroken.

I think that’s what prompted this recent rash of playlist compilations. I can now share this intimate window into where I was a few months ago without it feeling like I am opening my diary and letting everyone read along as I write it.

No, that’s not what this blog is. The thought that this space is the severely edited and filtered version of me should leave you laying awake at night. Perhaps with a rosary. 

These songs. ::sigh:: There are some slightly embarrassing classics, lots of recent discoveries and a few that tell just the right story. I tried to get them in at least a logical sound progression, even though the emotions are all over the place. But that’s how healing goes, right? 

Sad songs from my friends

One might call this a cheater post. But, I thought I’d share with you the the go-to songs from my friends** given in response to the post: Songs for Hurting Hearts. This is a nice, eclectic list of songs for when your soul has been torn from your body and left trembling on the floor, sprinkled in salt and garnished with poisonous thorns. Welcome to adulthood. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. 

**There were two songs I could not track down on Spotify: Don’t Give Up by Peter Gabriel/Kate Bush and No Place for a Heart by Allison Moorer. 


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