You are here: Home / Archives for friends

Why Monday was so damn great

April 9, 2013 By 4 Comments

If you follow me on social media you noticed some intense vague tweeting yesterday. By the end of the day I was getting phone calls and texts from close friends who were beginning to get concerned for my health and welfare.

I tweeted that because a property management had poured a few gallons of buzz kill right on top of my head. I decided a couple of weeks ago to rent out my house and move to a new place, even though I’ve never done anything like that before in my life. Hi, I’m Sheri. I am leaning into the discomfort. Please pass the carbs.

Let me back up, though. The buzz that was getting killed was a conversation I had just walked out of with my new landlord. We were talking about my plans and she was advising me on my situation. “Sheri, you don’t need a property management company. You can do this all on your own. It’s easy!” After asking her a bunch of questions I got a little confidence in the notion. Then, a few minutes later, we discovered that who I’d love to rent my house to was an applicant she was about to turn down for the house I was renting.

One of the four women called me yesterday afternoon and we set an appointment for them to stop by in the evening. I came home last night (grateful I’d vacuumed, mopped and cleaned over the weekend) and raced around the house wiping down counters, making beds and picking up Legos. They arrived, absolutely flipped out at how awesome my house was, were totally fine with the amount of rent I’m asking and said yes to the house. If I’d had had contracts ready they would have signed them. They even have a 5th roommate to loop into their arrangement. This is huge, epic, perfect, exciting news for them. And this is huge, epic, perfect, exciting news for us. They even know the guys who are renting 2 doors down. All of them are current or former students at the medical school 5 blocks away.

 Let me back up again… Late last week I was surfing Craigslist and plugged in a search term for my favorite neighborhood. There’s *never* anything in this neighborhood. Most of the houses are huge and 300k or more and the smaller rentals are hard to come by because they get snatched up and people camp in them forever. But there was a new listing. I clicked it. I blinked. I rubbed my eyes. I blinked again. I recognized that house.

I didn’t need to look at the address. I knew that house. It was immediately next door to the house of my dear friends, David and K.C. The same people who let me wail my eyes out on their sofa 6 weeks ago. The David who used to teach me guitar. The K.C. whose concert I took my kids to on Friday night. Where I sat and listened to this song, with my son on my lap and my daughter on my shoulder. I listened to this song and dropped tears onto their little heads.

 

May those who love is a stranger find in you generous friends. ~ K.C. Clifford

 

 

Filed Under: Music, People Tagged With: , , ,

Returning from SXSW

April 3, 2013 By Leave a Comment

I promise, this is the last one. 

I returned home on Thursday to a half empty house. I knew it would be half empty, it wasn’t any sort of a surprise. I was grateful that I was way far away as they packed and moved. I even had the foresight to have friends to help me through my return home.

KC picked me up from the airport and kept me talking about non-Clayton topics so much that I couldn’t let the sadness surface. An eery calm washed over me when we walked through the door. I did get a little weepy as we toured the house. The ghost house. We walked into every changed room so I could talk about what used to be there. To say goodbye, I suppose.

I still am shocked when I open the left-hand closet door and see two completely empty closet rods. I no longer cry about it, though. I didn’t much that night, for which I was grateful even though I still don’t truly understand why. Penny arrived shortly after we got to the house and she finished Sheri duty while KC moved on to a family dinner. Us two besties had a long dinner in Midtown and I came home alone. 

I climbed the stairs to my daughter’s bedroom (they were at their dad’s house, thankfully) and went to sleep in the only decent bed remaining in the house. When I woke the next morning I didn’t know where I was. 

I still don’t really know where I am, but I’m getting through it. 

I am processing through the stages of grief like a good little valedictorian of heartbreak. I’ve had a lot of help. I have a lot of friends. A LOT of friends. They love me and I love them. They are the reason I’ve survived this. I am the reason I have survived this. 

Greg took me to lunch one day and came bearing two messages from his wife, “Moran said I should give you as many hugs as you need and also she made you cookies.” Tracey left me the best voicemail in the history of voicemails. If I can figure out how to excerpt some of it, I’ll post it here. She also has talked me off the edge more times than I can count. And makes sure that I laugh at least twice during each conversation. Lanie stayed by my side for as much as I needed in Austin. Her wife Dale has been sending her love, too. Jacob picked me up one morning and let me ride in his front seat to talk and and cry as he ran errands in another county. Penny lets me really dig in and psychologically analyze him and me and the former ‘us’. My dad and my uncle cut down the big dead tree in my front yard. KC and David sat with me for hours and hours as I completely lost my shit in their living room, and made sure I was eating on more than one occasion. KC pets my hair when I weep and texts me lots of love and light when I am struggling through dark minutes, hours or days. Zach mailed me a 3.5″ floppy disk with a funny message on it. Blake offered to pray for me and then later that day gave me all the drink tickets I could handle. An anonymous friend offered to run him over with their car. Another offered to slash his tires and/or hamstrings. Andy showed up on my doorstep unannounced with an orchid. Ryan sends me messages of perseverance. My ex-husband took the kids when I was non-functional and has been patient and supportive as my brain has slowly come back online.  Kristy shares an empathic space because she’s been through a horrifying break up. Even some of his friends are reaching out or at least being kind and not talking about the elephant in the room when we happen to be at the same place at the same time. Dave shared his experiences with his own grief. Another Dave took me to lunch for 2+ hours to share his stories of love and loss. Yet another Dave joined me for a 3+ hour breakfast so we could figure out the world’s problems. Nathan and Brian offered me a place to sleep any time. James let me hijack a previously scheduled brunch to talk through my grief and after minced no words that he was available anytime for just about anything, including just sitting with me if I didn’t want to be alone. Keith has been holding my hand at work to be sure I’m moving forward with my job, even if its at a slower pace than normal. Tim and Katie bully me into going out on the town. Peter comes by one night to help me plan my exit from the ghost house. Kristy (a dear, mutual friend) reaches out regularly…which I deeply appreciate. 

mosaic2773648ce06534237a1bb4b76b7c013f795c1467

I could keep going. I’m leaving out at least 15 more people, not including friends who’ve posted to my blog or send me private messages on Facebook, but I think I’ve made my point. For me, it takes a village. I feel a deep sense of love and belonging, which has saved me through what was a devastating experience. I am grateful.

As I get further and further from this relationship, I can see patterns emerge. But there is no big piece of data that says “Oh, see there Sheri. You should have seen this coming like a freight train” or “How can you be so sad, you guys were so non-functional?” The truth is that what we had was the best thing that had ever happened to me with regards to love by a large margin. I thought it was forever. Everyone thought it was forever. We were aIl wrong. And I will take this experience of all the good, these patterns/clues about him, these patterns/clues about myself and the last 5 weeks of bad and do better next time. I will choose better, look for even the most subtle clues and will do better next time.

When I am ready.

Filed Under: People Tagged With: , , , ,

Beginning SXSW

March 29, 2013 By 1 Comment

The night I arrived in Austin my friend Lanie and her coworkers let me tag along to dinner. It was good to gather myself up and pretend to be a human for an evening. Out in public. We walked from the parking garage to the the convention center to get our badges, then to the restaurant. 

In.

What do you call it when you walk past a specific place where you had a specific memory? Or hear a specific song? Or taste a specific wine? Let’s call them ghosts. I saw about three ghosts, heard about six and one or two were mentioned in dinner conversation. I held it together nice and tidy like a champ. I was the valedictorian of post break-up composure. All on the outside, of course. 

The first day of the conference was overwhelming. I read somewhere that 40,000 people officially attend SXSW when it’s all said and done, plus all the extra people in Austin to support the conference. 

So. Many. Peoples.

We had met up with my friend Blake for lunch at one of my favorite Austin spots, Home Slice. Of course it was full of ghosts, too. Loaded. It was where we had watched showcases the previous 2 years. But the pizza was good and the company better.  

This. Is. Perfect.After lunch we headed downtown. We saw a bunny van. I Vined it. I don’t know how to embed Vine…

Once we arrived to the downtown area I realized that the session I wanted to attend in 20 minutes was so far away it required a shuttle that was a 10 minute walk from where I was. And thus began the struggle to actually participate at SXSW. I wandered aimlessly with my head in my phone, scouring the conference app looking for ANYTHING to sit in on. Something that 500 people hadn’t already beat me to (which would turn out to be a common occurrence that week). I stopped to cry behind my glasses then shook myself enough to keep moving and eventually found something to attend that wasn’t terribly far away on foot. It was called, “#ageofdamage: Be the Company You Want to Keep” presented by David Jones, Co-founder of One Young World and author of Who Cares, Wins. With my iPad open I “scribbled” notes and listened to his talk. Some of the nuggets I took away were things related to what he calls Radical Transparency. He said that the Industrial Revolution empowered companies and that we are in the age of a Social Revolution that is empowering people. People don’t expect perfection but they do expect honesty and transparency from companies. He shared a case study of Patagonia that was fascinating. Here’s an article that gives a nice overview: Don’t Buy This Jacket.

 From there I headed over to “How to Rank Better in Google & Bing” where, literally, 1,200 people beat me to a chair. At least. I bounced next door to a presentation from PBS that showcased a crowdsharing video service they had developed. Neat, but not terribly useful for me. A good spot to recharge all of my devices, though…something one always needs to be on the lookout at a technology-heavy conference. From there I missed “Technology, Imagination & Exponential Thinking” but got incredibly lucky upon my return as I learned it was filmed and made available online. Carve out an hour and have your mind blown.

 I sulked at the failure of the day. A year and a half ago when I learned I was coming to SXSW ’13, I thought I’d be storming the castle of awesome. Back to back to back sessions of genius-level techy brain food. Instead, I attended one session that was useful to me. I worried that each day would be like this. 

But they weren’t. They got better. 

The next day I put on my Chucks, went downstairs and pulled a Twitterati move to rescue my peers and I who were marooned at our outlying hotel. 

Then I summoned The Universe for Amanda Palmer. The Universe provided.

 

Then I attended a session on Creativity and the brain.

Then I went to the Google House and got free food and swag.

Then I went to some other place and got more free food and beer.

A little later I shook the hand of Al Gore.

Then even later I saw Band of Horses at the Samsung Galaxy Experience launch party.

Then EVEN later I pushed past a doorman and three hundred people to join my friend Jessica at the Gary Vaynerchuk secret wine party.

 

Then I decided not to temp fate. I sloshed through the rain and caught my hotel shuttle at 1:30am, went to bed and slept…hard. For the first time, in a long time, I had a GOOD day.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Filed Under: Food, Music, People Tagged With: , , , , ,
«Previous Page
Next Page»