Interchange Weekend 1

A few months ago I announced my plans to join a school and was too timid to even name the school for fear someone would look it up, judge me up one side and down the other, then burst my bubble that the school was a fly-by-night scam and that I was an idiot. Then I quit worrying about what people would think and asked the Internet for FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS.

The Internet gave me $5,150. Someone must’ve told the Internet my Sammy vs. Dave beliefs

And last weekend I started that school: Interchange Counseling Institute

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Later tonight (I started this post on Thursday night) I will trade practice sessions with a classmate, which sounded daunting until late Sunday afternoon came around. 

At the end of the first training weekend I felt a bit overwhelmed and under skilled. So many of my classmates are currently counselors or have extensive experience in talking with people on a personal level. I couldn’t give myself the credit I needed of being perfectly apt at carrying a classmate through a conversation for 30 minutes. I was overthinking it, like I do. And my ‘not good enough’ were having a raging good time up there in my head. 

Fortunately, fate paired me off with a gifted counselor who cleared me out of my own way. I grasped a sliver of confidence like a relay baton and took my turn as counselor. What happened in the next 30 minutes was personally astonishing. Of course I won’t share any details about our talk but there was this moment where things clicked inside. I was all the way with this wonderful human and I heard a clue. I took a risk and asked a question. I hit pay dirt. My client had an immediate, visceral, positive reaction and I physically felt the bullseye in my own body.

I COUNSELED SOMEONE. I didn’t give advice, I didn’t pat their head and say ‘There, there…it’ll all be ok”. I took all the pieces given to me, looked at them closely and snapped them together. Then handed them back and said, “Look. There’s that thing you’re looking for. It’s right here.” Or something. I’m sort of terrible at analogies. 

That was the biggest moment, knowing that I was a counselor. There were plenty of other cool observances and happenings. So many. And I didn’t live tweet it, either. In fact, I mostly left my phone with my stuff on the side of the room — ignored for hours on end. At one point my son was frustrated I hadn’t answered his first 30 texts that said “Mom”. So he sent 17 more in various form, called 15 times and left 5 voicemails ranging from angry to tearful. But he lived and so did Twitter. (His phone wasn’t charging. That was the big, ironic emergency.)

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My classmates range in age from early 20s to, uh, 70ish? Ethnically and socially diverse, soccer moms mixed in with Burning Man regulars. Loud, bright men mixed in with quiet and shy women. And vice versa. All good-hearted. All highly emotionally intelligent. When I realized I was in a room with 150 of ‘my people’ my eyes filled with happy tears. 

The meeting facility is at Ft. Mason and when we look out the window there’s a view of a marina. Beyond that, was the Golden Gate Bridge. Mostly the weekend weather was completely and totally perfect with just enough fog to be charming. 

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I uncovered things about myself that surprised me. Did you know that I have some places where I’m closed off and protected? I hope to work on that in a gentle, purposeful way. I also hope to find more places that need light and fresh air. I’m ready to really flourish. 

I love the Internets

There’s a lot of stuff I share on the Internet every day. Here’s a round up of the things I most enjoyed last week by category.

Inspiration

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Music

  • I Turn My Camera On by Spoon I saw them in Tulsa on Tuesday and in a beautiful turn of events, got to hang out with them for a couple hours after. Neat-o. 
  • Hopeless by Train Not sure why, but I fell down a nostalgic rabbit hole this week. I loved the Drops of Jupiter album back in the day but this song in particular always resonated with me. 
  • Once I Was An Eagle by Laura Marling I love her and yesterday I was in a blue head space. Instead of coaching myself into the light I put this concept album on repeat and floated in the warm, dark waters that is Laura Marling. Felt some feelings whilst listening to a beautiful voice tell a heartbreak story. It was nice in an emo sort of way. 

I love the Internets

There’s a lot of stuff I share on the Internet every day. Here’s a round up of the things I most enjoyed in the last few weeks by category. The catch-up edition, if you will. 

Inspiration

  •  29 signs you doing just fine even if it doesn’t feel like it. “6) You see obstacles in front of you because you are not settling. – If you settle for just anything, there wouldn’t be any obstacles in your way, but then you would never know what you are capable of either. Because your obstacles are your opportunities. Obstacles are put in your way to help you determine if what you want is really worth fighting for.” So, so many good gems.
  • Insta-therapy by Timothy Goodman. A series of Instagram posts with stylized text. But instead “Keep Calm and Whatever On” they say things like, “That nerdy girl from school is on top of her game now and there’s nothing you can do” or this one that is glorious but far too long for me to transcribe. 
  • What adoption classes didn’t tell us about raising black children. My friend Shelley Cadamy shared this never weeks ago and it’s powerful. Like, brick-in your-chest powerful. Sample: 2. Police officers might also kill your son for walking to his nana’s house while black, next to the curb instead of on the sidewalk, and then trying to explain to the officer that he is just going to see his nana. The officer might try and choke your son and then shoot him point blank, followed by several bonus shots when he tries to run.
  • Yes to Love. This is from the guy who proposed to his girlfriend in the most epic way. The Love video is just as heartfelt but in an entirely different way and makes me miss my grandparents and sister and mom and aunts and relationships I don’t even have. But in a good way. Mostly. Maybe a little wistful in with the good. 
  • Literati Press called me a patron saint.  “If you have been to an alt-country or folk show in Oklahoma, chances are you were standing next to Guyse, but didn’t know it. She believes in music, it is her church, her spiritual path. In high school, we all claimed that “music was our life”, but overtime our music collections staled and our interest in rooting out new artists faded. Few hold onto the faith, which makes music lovers like Guyse so critical to OKC’s developing landscape.”

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Music

  • My Favourite Faded Fantasy by Damien Rice The announcement that Damien Rice would be releasing a new album in November sent me right through the stratosphere. This is the first single. ::swoon:: This will be his first studio album in 8 years and I can’t wait. He gives me all the feels. 
  • Happy by John Fullbright I’m behind on “I love the Internets” so I included this. John was on Letterman. STILL so proud for these guys. And that bassist? He’s played in Sheri’s Living Room, which is so name-droppy for me to mention but I don’t care. David’s great at what he does, so very nice and deserves all life gives him. Hooray for Oklahoma! 
  • Illinois Blues by Hozier This was captured at the Newport Folk Festival. Magic.
  • In the Morning by Leif Vollebekk I cannot hear this song enough. I can’t believe that he’s playing in my living room ON MONDAY. People. ::sigh:: There are a handful of seats left to this show here: http://sherislivingroom.com/upcoming-show If you miss it, there will be a video or two released in the next month or so and you will have ALL THE SADS you missed it. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
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